The Crushed Soul

Having lived in Britain for more than six years and seven months under asylum system had drenched my soul. I went through trials and tribulation where upon I have been evicted and left homeless. At one stage sleeping underneath the bridge. Housed with a good Samaritan for more than five  months. Reinstated my benefits under Asylum section 4 support. Betrayed by one of the managers for MPQ properties, a housing agent. On the 14th Septmber 2006 at about 5:30 a.m, a group of armed police officers came broke the house where I was  living. Handcuffed and dragged me out of the house . I was completely half-naked. Outside, the rains were pouring  and landed heavily on my half naked body. Shoved into the police van.  I was literally caged. I had no-clue of where they were taking me to.

After seemed like eternity we arrived at the unknown  destination. It was the Middleton Police Station. I was taken to a cell.  It was my first time to experience the prison life. I never committed any crime or any fraud but on this day I was a prisoner of  the injustice world. The same day they imprisoned I was suppose to seat  for my final examination for Childcare level 2 and  staring a Foundation Degree in Childcare the following week  at Hopewood College in Rochdale  but alas all these ambitions were thwarted in one goal.  Later in the prison I was told by the senior officer that I was going to be deported to Zimbabwe. I was made to read a letter written by one of the ministers from Home office.  How could this happen to me I said as I raced with my thought. The binding law was saying No Zimbabweans should be deported. Where everyone was putting law into their hands knowing they won’t face any persecution. I spent three nights  in cell and I refused to touch any food they had brought before me.

Later I  was moved to a detention the Colinbrooke  near Heathrow airport. I spent 72hrs at the dentition and moved to another detention, the Tinsely House which is adjacent to Gatwick Airpot where I detained for two weeks .  I was maneuvered back to Colin-Brooke detention. After three days stay, then they moved to Yarlswood the biggest detention in UK, which accommodates about 450  detainees. Detained for another two weeks and I was released later back to the community. In all detentions I saw cruelty, torture,  human to human degradation. Detainees tried to commit suicide. Some detainees had stayed in detentions for more than one year.  I saw pregnant women, mothers with young children or toddlers, teenagers, adults and the crippled. They cried relentlessly day and night  asking for help. Help for what?  Justice and Freedom. Unfortunately to the majority of detainees their cries were  fallen on hard rocks.

When  I was released I went and lived with same Good Samaritan who had accommodated me before. She had signed as my Surety. I met a lot of my sympathisers who also commented on me  and said that I had a strong will. After a  month from detentions I started  to suffer from Post-traumatic distress Order. It was the twitches but it took a lot of time for the doctors to specify or identify my ailment. I remember one incident when one of the Neurogist from Traford Hospital was terrified with  my twitches.They were very embarrassing. I could continuously shake and it had happened so many times in public. It took 6 months to for NHS to send a psychologist to me by then I had slightly improved. If someone could not touch or hold me  in time, I will eventually fall.

After  staying ,more than one half years  in the house of surety (S) I was reinstated to Section 4 support. It is all about to share with other different individuals. I had with some nice people but some are hard to share with. The situation is worsened by Home Providers the (Ha… Ho..s) who sent their own mangers and they infuriate hatred between the residents. There is irony upon their household name.    There is no happiness  in their homes. They create problems and they do not how to extinguish the fire which they had started or simply to the resolve problems. With their unethical behaviour  they had  actually triggered my twitches.   I  wish if there is some where  I could live and have a peaceful life. The managers came  to impose their threats on me and ruin my confidence.

I am a lady who is multi- talanted. Qualified nursery manager, Cake decorator,Freelance writer, A Community reporter, a natural gardener or farmer. But unfortunately I am vehemently prohibited from working by Home Office. I wish I could work and earn a living for myself.  Lived on £35 voucher weekly which allows you to buy food only in Asda. No cash   for emergencies. It is  my life as a asylum seeker who is left in dilemma without knowing what the future holds for you. I haven’t seen my mother for more than six years and she turning 85 this year . I can’t help her. I heard she is very ill and fragile. I wish I could hold her and touch her. I only cry for  genuine help to all my readers. My soul has been crushed. Is there  someone out who could help me.


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